What Friendly Skies Are You Flying?

A Rant by and for Airline Employees

(first published Monday, December 12, 2011)

Fearless airline employees have confided the darkest airline secrets! This behind the scenes expose is brought to you just in time for the holiday flying season (missed Thanksgiving). What’s the biggest problem to airline staff, trying to get passengers aboard?  Passengers who don’t take responsibility for themselves!! Late passengers put a stress on EVERYBODY. It’s your responsibility to be at the airport on time, with enough time allotted for check-in, security and boarding. It doesn’t matter if there was traffic or a slow shuttle – if you show up late and want to make your flight doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. Throwing your bags, yelling at airline staff and demanding to talk to a supervisor isn’t going to change the fact that you’re going to miss your flight. Of course you “have to get there” (otherwise you probably wouldn’t be there at the airport) but if it was that important, you would somehow have arrived on time. And no!!! we won’t hold the flight and inconvenience a plane full of passengers who did get there on time, for the one or two who didn’t. Get there on time!!

Read the signs in the airport. The signs are there to provide information. Check yourself in without complaining – kiosk check-in is here to stay. Half of the employees who used to work at the counter no longer work there because of kiosk check-in. Yes, the kiosk check-in replaced jobs – you will no longer get individual attention like the old days because there aren’t enough employees. Stop holding up the line and use the kiosks. They have step-by-step instructions a 3^rd grader could follow but it requires a tiny bit of effort and oh my God!!! You have to read!!

Baggage – you’re allowed 50 pounds per bag, so don’t pack everything you own for a 2 day vacation. It’s been 50 pounds for years – not 51 or 52 or 53 or 75 or…we don’t care what is weighed on your bathroom scale. The airlines use business scales calibrated on a regular basis. How long has it been since the government’s department of weights and measures checked the accuracy of your bathroom scales? You packed it, you pay for it. It’s not our fault your bag is overweight and the 20 people behind you in line won’t mind waiting while you repack your bag.

You want to carry it onto the plane? You’re allowed two items (as in 1+1=2), as in one personal tem and one carry-on, not 3 or 4 or 5 items. It’s an FAA regulation that passenger carry-ons fit under the seat in front. (The FAA stands for the Federal Aviation Agency, a government agency that makes the rules for airlines and airports. Carry-on rules aren’t the whim of the airline or the employee). The airline knows what’s going to fit and what won’t – doesn’t matter how many times you tell us “I’ve always carried it on.” If it’s too large, you can’t take it. Period.

One last issue – when you’re trying to check in, get off your damn cell phone. Unless you’re the President, you’re not that important and you can call back. Stop holding up the line.